Invader Zim Madness
by KP100
Summary: Short little fics where Zim has discovered Facebook... madness insues, and possibly a certain alien secret.
1. I'm Not Stupid

**_Okay, so I'm new to this fandom... very new. I just got into it last Wednesday... anyways, since I'm not entirely donw with the series I'll make stuff based on what I know so far... which is about 3 episodes away from the first (only?) Christmas special. I have no idea how many episodes IZ has, but Netflix says 27... anyways, enjoy! _**

**_PS, does ANYONE know their last names?_**

* * *

Dib: Finally! Proof! ALIENS EXCIST! I TOLD YOU PEOPLE.

Gaz: You're stupid.

* * *

**Zim has friended Dib**

* * *

Dib to Zim: Zim.

Zim: Dib.

Dib: Zim.

Zim: Dib.

Gir: I'm making mashed potatoes!

Dib: ...okay then?

Zim: HAH! I WIN PATHETIC HUMAN!

Dib: Win what?

Zim: The name fight! ZIM wins!

Dib: That's just stupid.

* * *

Gir: Doom doom doom doom doom...

* * *

Dib to Zim: Hah, don't like water huh? Might want to wear a rain coat tomorrow alien boy.

Zim: What are you talking about? The mighty ZIM is not afraid of anything!

Dib: Uh huh. Even the leader of your planet?

Zim: I believe there are several leaders here, silly silly human.

Dib: You can drop the facade Zim! I know you're an alien! You have green skin, and no ears!

Zim: I told you in class, IT'S A SKIN CONDITION.

Dib: Yeah right.

* * *

Zim: Okay, THIS MEANS WAR HUMAN. Spray me with water... hah! I, the mighty ZIM, shall win this water battle!

Dib: Unless you get wet.

Zim: No worries on that anymore. :D

Dib: How'd you figure out the smiley thing?

Zim: -.- I'm not stupid.

* * *

Keef to Zim: Hey Zim, come outside! I have a surprise for you!

Zim: ...YOU'RE ALIVE?

Keef: Yeah... Come outside!

Zim: No.

Keef: Please?

Zim: No.

Keef: Pleaaaasssseee?

Zim: No.

Keef: ?

Zim: No!

* * *

_**Okay... well I guess that's it for this chapter. Sorry if it's not that funny, but I'm still trying to capture each personality... I think I have Zim down for the most part. Anyways... REVIEW! So I can have a reason to walk up to my friend tomorrow, and randomly scream "I am ZIM!"**_


	2. Parents, Mashed Potatoes, Game Slave 2

_**Thanks so much for all the reviews! Seriously. Thanks. Since I'm new to the fandom I didn't expect so many people to read it in one day… so again (this is the third time xD) thanks!**_

_**Now, ON WITH THE CHAPTER! **_

* * *

**Tak has friended Dib**

* * *

Tak to Dib: Hey Dib, want to meet at Bloaty's after school?

Dib: Sure Tak.

* * *

Dib to Zim: You know, you should really fix your "parents".

Zim: What's wrong with them? THEY'RE PERFECTLY NORMAL!

Dib: ...yeah, because ALL human parents chew on kids heads.

Zim: I told you! See!

Dib: *face palm*

Zim: What does that mean?

* * *

Zim: ...what's wrong with my parents? SERIOUSLY?

Dib: You mean other than the fact they chew on kids heads, are clearly robots, the mom's wearing a tutu, and they have wheels for shoes?

Zim: Those things are normal.

Dib: No they aren't.

Tak: They really aren't.

Zim: Tak? Since when did you get one of these?

Tak: ... *face palm*

Zim: What?

Dib: smh...

Zim: Okay, what does THAT mean?

* * *

Gir: I made mashed potatoes!

Zim: Yes, and muffins...

Dib: You can cook?

Zim: Only Gir...which is strange.

Dib: Uh huh...

* * *

Dib: ...and I just got sprayed with soda...

Zim: I did too...it stings more than water... why is that? ZIM MUST KNOW!

Dib: Probably because it's carbonated.

Zim: ...

Dib: You don't know what that means, do you?

Zim: Of course I know, I AM ZIM!

* * *

Gaz: MUST. HAVE. GAME SLAVE 2.

Zim: Aren't you getting a little too obsessive...?

Dib: ...and that's how Zim will die...

Gaz: Dib. Get me the butcher knife.

Zim: O.O

* * *

_**2 chapters in a day... I think this show replaced my last obsession. xD And I know that weren't as in character, but I like it anyways. Review, ZIM DEMANDS YOU REVIEW!**_


	3. I told you, IT'S A SKIN CONDITION

_**Okay, I wanted to respond to a review before we start this chapter; Yes, I do take OCs for this fic. I kinda need more than Zim, Dib, Gaz, and Gir...so feel free to send in an OC and I'll do my best to use it! Alright, on with the fic!**_

* * *

Dib: My head is not big! Stop making fun of my head!

Zim: It's pretty big, Dib-human.

Dib: Shut up Zim.

Zim: No! ... okay I'm leaving now.

* * *

Zim: Okay, WHO put a spy camera in my base-err I mean home? !

Dib: *whistles* Not mee...

Zim: ...it was you wasn't it.

Dib: I told you it wasn't. *whistles some more*

Zim: I'm going to find it eventually you know.

* * *

Gir: PIGGY!

* * *

Gaz: I finally got Game Slave 2... excuse me while I go play it.

Zim: ...you humans are weird.

Dib: Says the boy with green skin.

Zim: I told you, IT'S A SKIN CONDITION!

Dib: Sure it is.

* * *

**_Okay, I'm about to go to school, and really want to post this today... so this is all your going to get for now. I'm probably going to update later today though, when I get home... so review! :D_**


	4. I AM ZIM

_**Sorry I didn't update a second time yesterday, but I kinda forgot it was my mom's last chemo session, and they decided to celebrate by eating fish. And trying to get me to eat some. I said no, and wound up eating vegetarian ravioli and a baked potato...anyways, enjoy! **_

* * *

Dib: Don't you wish that you could be a fly on the wall…?

Zim: Actually, no I don't wish that.

Dib: It's a song alien monster.

Zim: Human thing.

Dib: Green boy.

Zim: Squishy human thingy!

Dib: Weird green monster alien!

Zim: HUMAN MONSTER DIB HIMAN SQUISHY THING!

Dib: …that's just stupid.

* * *

Former Invader Avon: Finally got my computer up and running again... now on to some other plans.

Dib: What was wrong with them?

Former Invader Avon: Not telling.

* * *

Zimmantha: Dib human... where are you? :D

Dib: Home... why?

Zimmantha: No reason. :D

* * *

Dib: ...and my curtains are still smoking. -.-

**Zim and Zimmantha like this.**

Dib: Really?

Zim: Yes.

Zimmantha: Yes, really.

* * *

Gir: Doomdie doom doom doom... PIGGY.

* * *

Former Invader Red: *holds up bow and arrow* I AM KATNISS! xD Those books...

Zim: Huh?

Former Invader Red: Don't worry about it. You're too ino your plans (*cough*fails*cough*) to know what I'm talking about.

Zim: ...okay. I AM ZIM!

* * *

Dib: So a couple girls just walked by my house screaming "TEAM EDWARD!" or "TEAM JACOB!"... Oh Zim, I now know what to torture you with. :D

Zim: Beating me with Twilight won't work.

Dib: Oh really?

* * *

Zim:... and now I have a headache from Dib-thing throwing Twilight at me. -.-

Dib: You started smoking, didn't you notice?

Zim: No. The only thing I noticed was the THROBBING IN MY HEAD. I will kill you first when I take over Earth. I AM ZIM.

Dib: That will never happen Zim, you want to know why? Because you're the bad guy, and they never win.

Zim: Well, then I'll just have to prove that theory wrong.

Dib: ...yeah. Have fun with that.

* * *

_**Okay... so my friend's on the phone and parts of our conversation was probably in there... sorry. xD Anyways, review!**_


	5. Prank

_**Okay, so I have a whole story behind this...I'll explain at the end. But the whole IM thing down there is the entire chapter since it's the first big step in the story. ENJOY!**_

* * *

Gaz IMed to Zim: Zim, Dib said to stop because he'll soak you in soda.

Zim: I am ZIM! Soda does not scare me!

Gaz: well being Dibs sister I can get him to stop you BECAUSE YOURE RUINING MY GAME TIME.

Zim: You will NEVER stop me!

Gaz: *shouts to Dib* STOP YOUR CRAZY FRIEND HES REALLY BEING ANNOYING. and Zim you are a nerd.

Zim: ...what is this nerd thing you speak of?

Gaz: someone as annoying as you! die evil pig monster die.

Zim: Never!

Gaz: *sighs* not you again*shouts at Dib* YOUR CRAZY FRIEND IS ON FACEBOOK AGAIN... FINE ILL TALK TO HIM WHILE YOUR IN THE SHOWER.

Zim: ...he's in the shower? TELL HIM TO USE THE SHAMPOO.

Gaz: 0.0 ummmm how do you know that *shouts at Dib* UMMM DIB... ZIM SAYS TO USE THE SHAMPOO... I DON'T KNOW IF ITS AN INSIDE JOKE BUT I DONT WANT TO BE IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM PAT OF IT... Dib just got out and asks if you're spying on us.

Zim: ...nope I'm not spying on you... at the moment. Hey have you seen a half metal squidd lately?

Gaz: Yeah I flushed it down the toilet, it turned Dibs shower really hot, I thought it was funny.

Zim: ...okay I guess I it can work from there... is he still in the shower?

Gaz: umm what could work and why do you want to know?

Zim: Just a... harmless prank.

Gaz: will it cause him pain, torture, annoyance and hatred towards you?

Zim: ...erm...yes?

Gaz: then yes he is in the shower.

Zim: EXCELLENT. tell me if you hear a muffled scream...

Gaz: not yet.

Gaz: wait wait there it is.

Zim: Okay, he may have red marks on his face.

Gaz: *to Dib* ... what happened to you? *to Zim* for the first time you did something right for a change. What was the prank?

Zim: I simply made that squidd swim up the drain pipe, latch onto Dib thing's hippo sized head, and try to drag him through the drain.

Gaz: ahhh well it worked and he is very mad, he's pacing around I'm guessing mumbling things he's going to do to you.

Zim: He won't do anything but through a muffin at me.

Gaz: ok...he says you'll be regretting the prank when you get to school Monday.

Zim: Haha! What is he going to do?

Gaz: Ohhhh I'm not sure, he says I'll have to help him with this one.

Zim: You won't succeed.

Gaz: oh really because I know what you fear most and what Dib fears most so I can take you down

Zim: Hah, oh really? The what do I fear most human? And I know how to really annoy you.

Gaz: water and I live with Dib, nothing really annoys me but I know what an set him off.

Zim: Even all the games and game devices in the world dissapearing? And what does set him off?

Gaz: nope and why should I tell you?

Zim: Because I can take him out so he won't annoy you anymore.

Gaz: hmmm tempting but I require payment, offer me something

Zim: ...hmm... how about Vampire Pigs 2?

Gaz: what do you think I've been playing?

Zim: I don't know, I don't pay attention to what you play. If I take out Dib thing then he won't be around to interupt your game time.

Gaz: hmmm even more tempting, fine, if you're going to rule the world I want to ahve a vampire pig army.

Zim:...fair enough. So what sets him off?

Gaz *whispers so Dib can't hear* ...thats what sets him off.

Zim:...what?

Gaz: yep that's what sets him off and I'm not repeating myself.

Zim: um...okay. Thanks...I guess.

Gaz: Dib's crazy... remember spiders.

Zim: Oh I know that and I'll be sure to record him freaking out. Tell him he's going to pay for trying to sacrafice me on Halloween. You wouldn't get it, you weren't there.

Gaz: What happened on Halloween?

Zim: Oh, believe me, ou don't want to know what happened.

Gaz: yep...Dib is asking who I'm talking to and what about spiders. It's funny watching him freak out. What happened?

Zim: He somehow managed to get us both into a world inside his head where there were these monsters after him. They knew who he was because of a blinking red light colar he had on, so he pulled it off and put it on me then pushed me toward them.

Gaz: Wow.

Zim: Yeah...those monsters weren't pretty, but they weren't very smart either.

Gaz: Why wasn't that video taped?

Zim: Niether of us were planning on going.

Gaz: yeesh. Why did he have that colar on?

Zim: We used an insane card on him in class.

Gaz: I always knew he is insane...

Zim: Everyone knows he's insane. And tell him he's dead.

Gaz: alright DIB ZIM SAYS YOU'RE INSANE...he syas... DIB YOU ARE SO DEAD.

Zim: Wait is he saying I'm dead?

Gaz: No, I'm telling him that because he says I'm insane for talking to him.

Zim: Oh, I was about to send another squidd after him... and okay, I won't help him.

Gaz: No, send the squid.

Zim: Okay... it's there.

Gaz: By the way if you hear screaming it's Dib getting pounded by the squid.

Zim: That should be fun to watch...

_Zim has logged off._

* * *

**_Okay, the story is: Last night my friend and I wound up role playing through texts. I was Zim and she was Gaz (we did it all today too, but we switched between who was Dib and Zim, right now I'm Zim.) And those messages are the...gest of what happened. I had to cut it in half because it was getting so long, and the texts were messed up. Some where missing or switched around... so once I figure out what goes where, that's what you get. Also... I think I was TOO in character with Zim, but that's because of my big actor ego... so mind telling me if I was too much like Zim, perfect, or not enough? It'd really help. Thanks, and review!_**


	6. BIG NEWS!

_**This isn't a real chapter (sorry!) but before you click out, I have big news! If you're a true Invader Zim fan, this should drive you nuts. Nickelodeon is interested in bringing back Invader Zim! The only thing they're nervous about is money. They don't know if they'd gain or loose money off the new episodes. Here's a couple of sites with more information if you're interested! (Take out the spaces)  
**_

_**1.) (I believe this is written by Jhonen himself) h t t p : / / w w w . q u e s t i o n s l e e p . c o m / m i n d s p i l l / ? p = 2 0 2 4 **_

_**2.) h t t p : / / p r o j e c t - m a s s i v e . y o l a s i t e . c o m / **_


	7. Project Massive

_**Okay. I PROMISE to have a new real chapter up, but before you exit out, if you want new Invader Zim episodes, TAKE PART IN PROJECT MASSIVE. Project Massive is this project where you write a POLITE letter to Nickelodeon telling them about why you like the show so much and demanding new episodes. Don't trash talk them, they won't listen if you do. This project WILL work if we get enough support, the original voice actors and cast has showed support of this and so has Nickelodeon. However, it would be a year until we hear anything. It's guarunteed to work though, so PLEASE join in! We need all the support we can get! Below is the adress to send the letters to, and links to the website for more info.**_

_**...okay, the link isn't popping up even if I space it, so I'll just put it at the very top of my profile.**_

_**Nickelodeon**_  
_**1515 Broadway**_  
_**New York, NY 10036**_


End file.
